I had my daughter in April of 2023, and had the most amazing midwife attending the birth in the comfort of my home! It was legitimately the most zen experience I could’ve imagined, and I’ll be having her for my second home birth coming this August/September.
I figured I’d put this list together for those of you either on the hunt for a good midwife, or debating on finding one to attend your home birth.
#1: She’s supportive of your goals.
This is an absolute MUST. When I first met with my midwife, I told her everything that worried me and everything I wanted to do. For example, I wanted a pool, and I wanted to do this at home with no medical intervention. She was 100% behind me and assured me that in her 30+ years of doing this, my goals were not even remotely impossible.
#2: She takes the time to answer questions.
My husband and I, at each appointment, had a slew of questions. My midwife took the time to hear us, and answer every question with patience and understanding. She also gave us a ton of information backed by her research and experience (which will be the subject of future posts). Every visit came with even more comfort that we had made the right decision,
#3: She’s mostly “hands off” during the birth.
This was actually surprising for me to learn, but on the day of the birth, she was merely a figure in the background, never really stepping in unless it was to check the baby’s heart rate, or to grab the baby from the water the second she was born. She was just a quiet cheerleader for me, leaving the entire experience to me and my husband. It was wonderful.
This is especially important since your entire focus will be on your contractions, and your midwife will legitimately be zero distraction for you. Honestly, it helped me immensely to not have someone asking a thousand questions or telling me what to do. She was simply a guide and told me to listen to my body. Perfect!
#4: She doesn’t try to force tests or ultrasounds.
I ended up having my daughter at 38 years old. By default, the OB I visited (once) wanted me AND my husband to take every blood test under the sun, and have amniocentesis done. She also wanted ultrasounds done pretty much every month, then every 2 weeks toward the end. After speaking to my midwife, she told me that most of her clients have zero ultrasounds and invasive tests. What she said – which made perfect sense to me – was that none of these tests or ultrasounds will change the outcome of a birth. She’s 100% right! Also, she assured me that my age meant nothing. My lifestyle is what mattered.
My husband and I only chose to have 2 ultrasounds the entire pregnancy. One at the beginning, just to make sure everything looked ok in there and that I wasn’t carrying a dinosaur (LOL), and one to determine the gender of the baby. That’s it! There’s plenty of research to suggest that frequent ultrasounds subject the unborn baby to unnecessary radiation. That was enough for me to turn them down.
#5: She makes you feel comfortable and confident.
This is easily the most important one on this list. My midwife made me feel that I was absolutely made to do this, and so was my daughter. There was no point that she gave me any concerns or worries, and this is huge. I feel that this contributed to my overall mood during the pregnancy, and it’s hard to not see a correlation to the baby my daughter is now. She made the entire experience at every appointment – and especially the birth – very smooth and very easy.
If your midwife makes you uncomfortable or makes you second guess yourself, time to move on!
I hope this list leaves you feeling empowered. Because YOU’VE GOT THIS!